


Unsteady - Modern reylo

by Wckedwidow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Badass Rey, Drugs, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Force Bond (Star Wars), Homelessness, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22851238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wckedwidow/pseuds/Wckedwidow
Summary: Rey is in her 20's. Addicted to drugs, homeless and a party girl. One day she meets ben solo, Who's going to change her life forever.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	1. Not my type

She’s on the dance floor, the music is loud and her feet start to hurt. But as the new dose of drugs starts to kick in the pain disappears, and the sound and room starts to spin. She laughs at her friend who tripped into a tall man with black long hair. Rey’s only in her 20’s and she’s homeless and a drug addict. Welcome to reality. She pulls her friend of the tall man, and they start dancing with each other again. The tall figure goes back to his business but doesn't let his eye of the two girls who clearly are out of their mind. Rey goes over to the bar and orders another shot, and it takes less than two seconds for it to slip down her throat. She shakes her head and goes over to a guy, who touches her at the most inappropriate spots. The tall man keeps an eye on her, making sure that nothing happens. He feels an anger inside of him, touching a girl like that, caressing her thighs when she’s clearly not in her right mind, makes him feel sick. 

Rey gets out of the man’s grip, but he follows her into the toilet. She puts out a one dollar bill two minutes later her body is filled with too much poison. The man from the bar is kind of small, blond hair and smaller than rey herself. But as his lips started touching her neck her body filled with terror as she turned around facing him. But she can barely stand up anymore. She runs out from the bathroom and looks over the dance floor. She finds her friend with a dude in the corner of the room, and it looks like she enjoys it. Rose was better at staying in control of her body, even if it was filled with ten different kinds of drugs. Rey didn’t want to interrupt, it seems like Rose would have a place to stay for the night while rey had to go back to the park with the rest of the junkies. Her eyeliner was ruined and smudged out, she looked around once again as she stopped feeling her feet. She sat down against a wall. A group of guys approached her, trying to help her but as she waved them off they laughed and muttered the words “Trash” and “Slut”. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to hearing those words before, but they still hurt and especially when you can’t even stand up on your own. But the pain was gone, and to rey that was all that mattered. The only thing that could make her feel better was drugs, her pain always disappeared, and she could enjoy life. She couldn’t handle the panic attacks and the emptiness and drugs took that away. But the things she had to do to get hold of money, she wasn't proud of but it was worth it. With the money she could buy drugs, she could turn the pain off. As she started to feel her feet again she tried to get back up on her feet, it took her awhile but she managed with help of the wall she was leaning on. On the other side of the room the tall figure was watching her. He wasn’t sure what to do, was he supposed to help her and leave his date? He felt connected to her, Even though he had never seen her before. She wasn’t his type either, he liked mature girls that could take care of themself. But he felt the need to help her. Rey “goes out” more like falls through the emergency door as she can barely stand up. When She finally leaves the club she feels her eyes watering up. She starts crying, she doesn't know why, she can’t control it. She leans against the concrete wall, and her body cools down. The black back door opens, and the tall man from the dance floor steps out. He looks at her, still standing at least one foot from her. Rey doesn't notice him at first, And her eyes continue to water up with what seems to never end. He takes a step toward her. 

“ Are you okay?” He asks her. Rey looks up at the tall figure standing less than a foot from her. She tries to dry her eyes, but as she notice how it doesn't work she just puts her face into her hands and tries to get a word out. 

“ I don’t know” Is all that slips out of her mouth. She continues to sob. 

“ Is there anyone I can call?” He asked her, He only meant well but her cry became louder. All of a sudden her cry becomes laughter. He looks at her realizing that she’s done some heavy shit. 

“ What’s funny?” He asks her, a small smile appears on his face. 

“ I don’t know, maybe the fact that you haven’t tried to grope me yet” She says, and continues to laugh. He just stands there looking at her, when all of a sudden her body collapses. He runs throward her in pure reaction and his hands are around her waist, stopping her from hitting her head in the ground. 

“W---wwow what a hero” She lets out and then a small smile crosses her face just before she passes out. He looks at her, realizing that he can’t leave her in this state alone on the street in the middle of the night. 

He calls out for a cab, that takes them to his apartment. Thank god she’s so small he thinks as he carries her up the stairs. He lives in a small apartment building, kind of old. He tries to grab his keys in the pocket and unlock the door. It takes him a while, Just because he tries to be as careful as possible with the passed out girl in his arms. As he enters the small apartment he goes over to the couch, putting her body down. He takes his shoes off, and hers as well. He feels like a pervert for a while realizing that he just took a strange girl into his home who’s probably far too young for him. He walks into the room next to the living room, the apartment is old, and it needs a retouch when it comes to paint on the walls. He undresses the bed and opens up the cover. He walks back to the couch where passed put rey was laying, and he carried her to bed, putting the covers over her. He took one of the blankets on the couch and laid down on the couch. 

The next morning. 

Rey wakes up by a bright light. She tries to open her eyes. She panics, she can’t remember a single thing from last night. She sits up in the bed and looks around. The bed was soft, and kingsize. The covers were warm and there wasn't a naked body next to her. Where the hell was she. She went out of the bed and looked out the small window. All she could see was people out walking, some in sweatpants, others did the classic walk of shame. She smelled an unfamiliar smell from outside the bedroom. She approached the door and opened it. She saw a tall figure with long black hair. As he turned around she got eye contact with him, his eyes were dark, they were so dark and she never wanted to let go of the sight of them she thought. But she snapped out of her thoughts and looked around. The apartment was okay, but needed some retouching. 

“Good morning” He said and went over to her with a cup in his hand. She took the cup and looked down at it. Coffee, that was what she had smelled. 

“Where am I?” She asked him, trying to be as polite as possible since she was still fully dressed and so was he. 

“ Brooklyn” He answered as he threw some pop tarts down the toaster. 

“ H-- how did I get here?” She stuttered as she took a sip of her coffee.

“ Do you remember anything from last night?” He asked her and looked at her. His expression was soft, she hated when people looked at her like that. But when he did it it felt comforting. 

“I remember that I danced, and that I spent my last money -- Oh shit” She said as she realized all her things were gone. 

“What?” He asked her. She took a deep breath and took a sip of her coffee.

“ You don’t have something on you do you?” she said, feeling her abstinence growing on her. Her skin starts to itch. 

“ You mean drugs? Sweetheart no” He said and walked over to her. He looked at her, he was so tall and his figure was so broad. She didn’t know what to do then stared into his eyes. They were just like a drug. Once again she snapped out of it and remembered her craving. 

“ Can you just tell me what happened last night?” She asked him. He walked over to the toaster and took two pop tarts out of it and on a plate. It was silent for a while and then she opened her mouth once again. 

“ I don’t even know your name” She said and started trembling. Her body was craving drugs.  
He walked over to her gain and raised the plate in front of her face.  
“ Want some?” He asked her and she took one of the poptartes of his plate.  
“ Oh, and my name is ben, ben solo” He said and went over to the small table he had in the kitchen area.  
“Can you please tell me what happened last night?” She pleaded. He nodded, she sat down in one of the chairs in front of him.  
“Long story short. I was on a date, saw you and some other girl on the dancefloor bumping into people. You went over to the bar and a guy started groping you. You left for the bathroom I think. Walked out and couldn't walk, you went outside and laughed and cried and then passed put in my arms” He said. And took a deep breath and then a bite of his poptart. 

“Wh--why didn’t you just leave me there?” She asked him and took a sip of the coffee. He dropped his poptart on the plate and looked at her confused. She looked at him as well, just as confused.

“What?” She asked him. His face softened again. 

“ Did you think I was going to leave you all alone unconsion on the street for pepole to rape you?” He said, his face went from soft to almost upset. 

“ Okay fine, but we slept together didn’t we?” She said and tried to show off a small smirk.

“No” He answered straight. 

“You’re strange,” She told him. Her abstinence was getting worse and she flew off the chair and stood up.

“Well I need to go” She said, she went for the door but he stopped her. He gave her a white piece of paper with a number on.

“Next time someone asks if there is anyone they can call, give them this number” He said and smiled at her. 

“ Yeah, Like you need a homeless junike and a whore in your life” She said, but she still took the piece of paper from his hand and left.

There he stood all alone, wondering what was going to happen to her, all alone out there.


	2. why are you so nice?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is he a stalker? or is it just meant to be?

And another blowjob was done. This dude was old and fat, he was actually pretty gross. But Rey needed the money, her skin was burning, her throat itching and her stomach twisting. She was losing her mind. She called her usual dealer and bought her regular with the money she had made today, which left her with nothing left. She had forgotten all of her things in the club, but she couldn't go back, she had a bill to pay. She went to the small trailer park and over to a small blue tent at the end of it. She opened it and saw her friend rose passed out in it.  
“ Rose” She whispered in her ear. She woke up, and she turned around.  
“What?” She asked her.  
“ Want a smoke?” She asked her. Rose was suddenly up. They walked outside the tent and stood there. Rey told Rose what had happened with Ben last night, and how he hadn’t gropped her, how he was gentle with her and how he took care of her.  
“Why did you leave?” She asked Rey, confused.  
“ He didn’t have this,” She said and raised the cigarette in her hand. Roe nodded, She understood.  
“You know I met someone as well” Rose said and looked at Rey with a Smirk.  
“ I think I remember that part” Rey said and hit her elbow on rose. Rose talked about how fantastic Finn was, and how she’s visiting him tonight as well.  
“But before that we gotta Party” Rose said with a serious look on her face.  
“ I can’t go back to the club, I don’t have money to pay last night's bill” She said and looked down at her feet.  
“ It’s okay, Finn's friend is having a party tonight, and we’re going” She said. Rey laughed. Rey knocked on the trailer next to their tent, it belongs to Phasma. She was the only nice one in the trailer park, and let them use her bathroom to clean themself up sometime. Rey smiled at Phasma as she let her in. She went into the bathroom, it wasn’t especially nice but it was better than smelling like a homeless person, which in fact she was. They used to sleep on a park bench but They found this tent on sale and used their last money to buy it so they would have some cover on rainy nights. They met Phasma at a party and she offered to place the tent next to her trailer. 

Rey was in the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked at her smudged eyeliner from last night, her mascara trails from all the crying. She got small flashbacks. The pain tried to press through. She took a deep breath and pressed it back into her chest and then splashed some cold water in her face. She took her clothes off, feeling her cold bare skin. She looked down on her legs, seeing the small scars still showing. She went into the cold shower, Phasma didn't have enough money to pay for warm water. Her mind couldn’t stop thinking of ben Solo, There was usually nothing as strong as her addiction to drugs, that was all she needed to let the pain go away. but he made her feel warm, He made her feel human like her life was worth something. She tried to suppress the thoughts, She tried to think of other things like what food she was craving and she heard her stomach making alot of sound. She went out from the shower. Looking even more beautiful without makeup. She stood in the mirror for a long time and just looked at herself, looking at every part she hated of herself. But the drugs made her feel more comfortable in her own skin, they made her forget who she was and made her just live in the moment. She put on her makeup and the same tight skirt as last night. It was black and tight, it pushed all her skin in and she looked fabulous. She left the bathroom, and looked at pahsma.  
“ Hey, Do you have a nice top that would go with my skirt?” She asked her. Phasma smiled at her.  
“ Of course Darling” She said and she went to her drow, while she put her cigarette on rest in her mouth. She pulled out a small crop top that would barely cover her breasts, but she accepted it and pulled it over her black bra. Black was rey’s signature colour and had always been. She went out from the trailer and Rose was already done.

“Aren’t you going to shower?” She asked her, Rey scanned her realizing that she actually looked clean. 

“No, I showered at Finn’s last night” She said and gave rey a you know what smirk. Rey just laughed and they waved at pahsma before they got going. 

-

You could hear the music and people outside of the apartment building. Rose and Rey looked at each other. Rose took out the good stuff. She had a bottle of water that they swallowed the pills with and then they stood outside the building before they started to hit off, Rey lit off a cigarette,  
“Are you ready?” Rose asked Rey. Rey looked at her with a smile and took a blow from her cigarette.  
“When am I not ready for a party?” She said and smirked. She gave Rose the cigarette and she took a smoke.  
“Well, No you got mr. Solo circulating in your head” She said and smirked at her.  
“Trust me, I’m long over him” Rey said. Rose threw the cigarette on the street and they approached the apartment building. 

As they went inside the apartment was filled with people, Rey’s first thought was that with a party with this kind of people making this kind of noise - it wouldn’t take long until the police were there. But they went through all the people in the hallway and there he was - he was not that tall, Dark skin and actually kind of cute. There was Finn. Rose approached him and gave him a kiss. 

“ Hello There” Finn said to Rose.  
“ This is Rey. Rey. Finn '' Rose introduced them, they gave each other a look and you could see on their faces that they had already started judging each other.

“How will you keep the police away from a party like this?” Rey said and looked at Rose then at Finn, waiting for an answer. Finn Took two glasses and poured some liquid in it, rey had no idea what it was and she really didn’t care she didn’t have to pay for it. 

“ I have someone on the inside” He said and gave her a smirk. Finn and Rose started another conversation and rey tried to escape their company before they started to dry hump each other. She looked around, She hadn’t seen any of these faces before. They were what she called the more fancy version of her. They still had a shitty childhood, but they made a lot of money, not because they had gone to college or something - no they were street smart people. The kind of people that would sell her the more expensive shit. The drugs started to kick in, She could feel it, and all the sudden she was on the table dancing and people clapping and dancing around her. She screamed at the music and laughed, and all the sudden all the thought, the pain and the anxiety disappeared. She felt free again. Rose took her phone out and looked at Rey, She laughed and decided to take a video of her. 

The evening went on, and people started to disappear from the party. Rey had a lot of perverts around her that night, and she took a lot of phone numbers, in case she needed a little extra money. That actually always gave her a confident boost because people actually wanted her, and she needed to feel wanted. Rose went over to Rey, and she smiled at her. 

“ I Will stay with Finn tonight if that’s fine” She said to her. Rey just gave her a smile.  
“ Of course, enjoy a warm apartment” she said to rose. Rose took Finn's hand and they slamed the bedroom door. Someone that looked like some kind of a guard showed Rey they way out, realizing that she was not going to stay in a warm apartment. She stood outside in a skirt and a really short crop top, she was used to the streets but it still creeped her out. Especially at this hour. As she started walking she felt the drugs wearing off, realizing she didn’t have anymore. She continued walking but stopped for awhile, taking her heels off. Just as she stood there taking her heels of a car pulled over next to her. She looked confused, It was a black BMW. And out if came the same tall figure that she had seen the same morning. She looked at him with a smirk, and he just looked her disappointed and worried.

“ Are you a stalker or something?” She asked him, she wasn’t joking she actually felt stalked.  
“No I swear, I’m on my way to my shift” He said, he took a deep breath.  
“ And I saw a familiar figure in the dark and realized that it was you” He said. She just gave him a small snort and continued walking. He ran up to her and stood in front of her.  
“ Can I drop you off somewhere?” He asked her, looking at her with concerne. She wanted to scream at him, beg him to take care of her, and to never let her go. But she didn’t.

“ I can take care of myself thank you,” She said and walked past him. 

“Yeah, trust me. You’re in no condition for that” He said and opened his car door. He almost had to push her into the car, it wasn’t especially hard since she was tired, drunk and her drugs were starting to wear off.  
“ Where can I drop you off?” He asked her but she didn’t answer so He kept driving to his destination. She didn’t look at him once, she was almost embarrassed of herself, which was not common for her. He looked at her, then back to the streets.

“You know I can help you right?” He said with a concerned voice.

“Help me how” She said, almost angry. No one had actually ever offered hre help before. The system is chaos.

“Help you stay off drugs, get you back on your feet” He said. She was silent for awhile, and he didn’t push her. 

“How do you even know it’s drugs?” She said. He let out a small chuckle, like Jesus it was pretty obisibly.

“Number one, I think it’s pretty obvious for everyone. And number two, I’m soon to be a doctor so I know” He said. She was silent, of course he was a doctor, his plan was probably to take her to the police because he thought that was the best for her. Well that she had heard once or twice before. 

“So you’re taking me to the police station, great” She said and crossed her arms.  
“ Why would you think that?” He asked her, building up anger inside of him.  
“You’re a doctor, you obviously know what's the right thing to do and you guys get cases like me all the time” She said and got furios. Ben didn’t answer. He knew he was probably say something stupid, he always does when he get’s angry. They sat there for awhile until they got close to a hospital building, and he pulled the car over.

“ Do you wanna sit in my car for the next 72 hours while I work or is there anywhere I can drop you off?” He said to her again.  
“Trailerpark First order” She said. He turned the car around and drove. They were silent for the rest of the ride, When they finally arrived she left. Without saying anything. Phasma woke up when she heard the car. She went outside, in her pj’s and probably the worst bedhead in history.  
“Who was that?” Pahsma asked Rey. Rey frowned.  
“Just an asshole” She said as she opened up her tent and went in. It was extremely cold, and all she had was an old blanket. She tried to sleep but she couldn't. She went through all of the numbers she had gotten tonight. Planning on who she should call first to get more money. But somehow she landed on Ben Solo's number. She held it tight while she drifted off to sleep.

\------ 

“You’re late” Hux said as Ben approached the hospital. 

“Sorry, I overslept,” He said and rushed into the chaningroom. It was 3 am in the morning and Ben Solo was tired. He hadn’t gotten any sleep, she was in his head all the time. In his dreams, in his thought. He didn’t even know how to get through a 72 hours shift without his mind wandering off to her.  
As he was finished the interns stood around Hux and the rounds began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, ben solo is a doctor huh?  
> Let me know what you think in the comments, and do you guys want it to be slowburn o should I speed things up a bit?


	3. can you come and get me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is she giving in? Will Rey trust her life in ben's hands?

Ben’s 72 hour shift finally ended. He was exhausted and had gotten about three hours of sleep total. He was in no shape to drive home. He decided to crash in the hospital for an hour just to get some sleep before heading out there. But just as he was about to close his eyes, his phone vibrated. He didn’t have many friends, and His mom had his schedule and knew that he just got off. He took his phone out of his pocket, it was from an unknown number. The messages said “ Can you come and get me”. He stared at it, thinking someone must have sent it to the wrong sender. But He got a second message that said “It’s rey” His mind was somewhere else, probably still in the Or. When he snapped back from the dizziness he realized something and then a third message came. “You know the person that acted like a bitch even though you were just trying to be nice”. His heart skipped a beat, He had been suppressing her the last days so he could focus on work, not getting fired for cutting into the wrong person or so. He picked up his phone and called the number.

“Where are you?” Was the first thing He said. She whispered quietly in the back.

“I have no Idea, can you track my phone?” She said, He swallowed a lump in his throat.

“Are you okay?” He asked her. She didn’t answer and he put on his speakerphone while putting “Track my Iphone” On. 

“Just hurry” She said quietly and then she hung up. He took his thing and followed the map on his phone. He ended up on the bad side of town, and outside a really trashy place. He Jumped out of his car, and heard a lot of noise from one of the apartments. He entered the building, there were people in every corner, either passed out or drunk. He went up a couple of stairs, and the first thing he met was Rey’s eyes. A guy was next to her, and he was moments from all over her. Ben Pushed the guy away from her and as he almost sat down in front of her looked at her. She almost looked dead, like her body was giving up. He put his hand on her face, pulling some of the hair from her face and wiping a small tear from her cheek.

“Hey hey, are you okay?” He asked. She just smiled a bit. 

“You came,” she said. 

“Can you stand?” He asked her. He controlled her pulse, it was almost as high as the sky. There was nothing left of her eyes except the pupils, they had expanded on a new level. She had a hard time controlling her breathing, showing severe anxiety. She was confused and just laughed. He carried her bridal style down the stairs, just as he had done the first time they met. He put her in the backseat of his car and drove home. It was dark and late. A lot of sketchy people were out at this time so he tried to hurry, and tried to avoid the police. He had an passed out girl in the back for god sake. He carried her upstairs and Put her down just as he had done a few nights ago. It was the same rutin all over again, And if it meant that she was safe then he didn’t care. 

Now his mission on his own started. He knew that if he wanted to get the drugs out of her system it would involve puking, cramps and maybe even hallucation. So what he needed was an IV and a lot - A Lot of water. He started at the hospital. He snuck in carefully without getting noticed. Somehow he managed to get out of there with the supplies he needed, without even being noticed. He still doesn't know how he managed but he did. He started to feel his tiredness getting over control so he pulled over at a Starbucks and ordered two venti black coffees. After that he drove to the nearest supermarket and bought at least 10 liters of water. He drove back home with a lot of caffeine in his system, and the tiredness was still there. 

As he walked through the door with the IV kit and the water he tried to be as quiet as possible. He looked over to see her still passed out in his bed. 

\---  
“ I can’t take this anymore” She said with heavy breathing, just before she puked another time.   
“ Just give me some drugs and It all will be over” She said as she held her hands over the belly cramping. She puked another time. Ben stood in the doorway watching her. He had tried to help her but she just pushed him away when he did so.   
“I’m pretty sure that If I hadn’t gone and picked you up the other night, you would have been kidnapped or even killed” He said and looked at her. He was upset, but he also went easy on her. She was still a stranger to him, but a stranger he cared extremely much for. She puked one more time, and then she laid flat out in the big king size bed with white sheets, taking heavy breath and the cramps were coming again.  
“Go to hell” She said and then turned over to her stomach, she sobbed into the pillow, but quietly. She didn’t want him to notice. He turned around and left. He stood in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath and then he went out on the balcony. He had two chairs and a blanket, that was about it. It was a small balcony, but the view over the city was just about perfect. He sat down on one of the cold chairs, looking out over the city. He took one of the blankets and wrapped it around him. It was colder than he expected. The blanket was black and not that thick, but it made the cold disappear a bit. He sat there for awhile, thinking It was what he did best. He had a lot of thoughts and sometimes he wondered why he didn’t become a writer, because his mind even surprised himself sometimes. As he sat on the balcony thinking, what felt like hours. After awhile he wasn’t alone anymore. Rey stood next to him. She hadn’t been up except for the bathroom which he had to help her to get to. 

“ So you learned how to go by yourself” He said, continued to look out over the city.   
“ This view is amazing” Rey said as she sat down on one of the chairs, she shrugged because of the coldness that hit her. Ben handed her the other black blanket and she smiled. 

“ You know, black is my signature color” She said and smiled as she wrapped it around herself. They sat silent for awhile, enjoying their company, or more the fact that they weren’t alone anymore. It felt good. Rey’s smile faded away, and a sad look entered her face. Ben turned his head over, watching the beautiful women in the chair next to him. His heart shattered. 

“What’s wrong?” He said, 

“You know, I take drugs to make the constant pain go away” She said. She stopped for awhile, she wasn’t sure if she should continue. But as her eyes met his, she felt more comfortable. Her eyes were watering and her voice was shaking. You could tell that she was afraid, scared and hurt. You could tell it all by the way her voice sounded. It was broken. 

“I haven’t felt it yet, But i know when I go back to the trailer park” She continued, then she stopped herself again. Ben reached his hand out, putting it on top of hers and gave her a small broken smile. 

“to Rose and when my loneliness hits again. I will relapse, Because I can’t handle it,” she said, and then a tear fell. She didn’t start sobbing, she didn’t say anything. She just took a breath, pushing her emotions back in her chest and then exhaled, letting another tear escaping her eyes. 

“ You know, you can stay here” He said. She turned her face over, and looked at him like he just said something wrong. 

“You don’t want me around, I’m only fun on drugs” She said and chuckld.

“ Well I’m ready to give it a shot” He said and squeezed her hand. 

“ Why are you helping me?” She asked him. He paused, He didn’t know what to answer. Because He seriously doesn't know. But he knows that he doesn't want her to ever leave. He wants her next to him, in bed, when he gets home from work. He doesn't know why, He has only met her when she was stuffed with poison, But he wanted to get to know her true self. 

“ I don’t know, I just feel connected to you. Like this was fate” He said, and chuckled at himself, relizing how dumb he sounded. She started to smile again, He made her feel like that. He made her feel warm, Like she was worth something. She had lived 22 years, and not a single soul had ever made her feel that way. Then she had been in and out of foster care since birth, and she was pretty much a loss cause. 

“Why don’t you stay here? I will help you, back on your feet” He said and smiled. She didn’t know what to say. The truth was, she had never been on her feet. She had always been a junkie. She tried drugs back home in Britain when she first turned 13 years old. When she got kicked out of foster care when she was 18 she applied for an american membership and she flew the country. She didn’t want the past to come haunt her, and she had also heard rumors that it was easier to get a hand on drugs here. It was the country that made dreams come true. Well if homeless is your dream then sure. 

“Just so you know, I have never been on my feet, this right here has always been my life” She said. Ben didn’t answer, He looked at her and then he changed the conversation subject. 

“Why don’t you take a shower? It looks like you’re feeling a bit better,” he said and smiled. She got up from the chair and into the bathroom. Ben sat on the balcony for a minute more, just cleaning his head until he finally got up from the chair. He went into his bedroom, and took the disgusting bag with puke in it and threw it away. He changed the bed, so it was fully new and then he took out a couple of sweatpants and a hoodie of his. He heard how rey turned the water off so he knocked gently on the door. She opened it covering her body with a towel. Her hair was slicked back and the water was still dripping off her. 

“Thought you wanted some new clothes” He said and Smiled. Rey smiled back and reached out one of her hands as she took the clothes in her hand. As she closed the door behind her she dropped the towel. She put on her old panties because she didn’t have any new ones and she put on his clothes. But the fact that he was at least one feet taller than her was even more noticeable when she put on the clothes. She went outside and just looked at him. As soon as he realized that she was standing in front of him he looked up and started to laugh. She looked like a giant teddy bear in his clothes.   
“Maybe we should go by your trailer and pick up some of your clothes” He said and smiled. She looked adorable though and he never wanted her to take his clothes. He would like to keep her just like that forever.   
“ Um, Okay so here’s the deal” She said and she bit her nails. She had a lot of ticks that came through she was off drugs. She was craving them so bad, and she didn’t know what to explain.

“I actually, don’t want to talk about this. But it feels like if I just step out of this apartment, it will all come back. I just -- I just can’t, ``she said. She sat down on the couch. Trying not to cry, she felt like she had done that enough time in front of him. He sat in front of her, he laid his hand on her thigh, and she looked up in his eyes. Her watering eyes were only one blink from making her face wet. 

“Just, let me help you,” He said in the softest voice. It was low and gentle, he looked wonurbale, like he shared her pain.

“But for me to order to help you, you need to trust me okay?” He said. She nodded, letting one tear escape her eye. The problem was, she didn’t want to get better. Or that wasn’t exactly the truth. She only wanted to get better, because she found her new drug. And she was afraid that if he left her side, if they even left this apartment it would all go down hill again. Even though he was her new drug she still craved the old stuff. She knew that if she continued she would die, if not from an overdose than probably cause some random guy would kidnap her and kill her. Welcome to today’s society she thought. She snapped out from her thoughts again. She didn’t know what to say.

“We can take it slow, You don’t have to tell me anything at the moment. This got to be your first time off drugs in what years?” He said and gave her a soft smile. She didn’t want to answer, but she gave him a small nod so he would understand. He stood up and reached out his hand. She took it and stood up with him. He led her into the bedroom and he laid on one side of the bed. She laid her body down on the big king size bed, Ben enjoyed the comfort of the bed, he hadn’t slept in it like a week. Rey rested her head on his chest. Her hair was still wet from the shower. They laid like that for awhile, Just close to each other, that was all they needed just at that moment. Rey closed her eyes, feeling her body relax against his. Then she heard a small sound from his mouth.

“You’re not alone anymore” He said and then he closed his own eyes. They both slowly drifted off to sleep, and this was rey’s best sleep in years. There were almost no toxin in her body, no drugs no alcohol, she didn’t wear a tight skirt or was in a guys bed for sex only. She was able to get some real sleep without dreams, being under the influence of something. She felt free and relaxed. She had never experienced something like this in her entire life before.


	4. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's the sweetest guy on earth, and we love it right?;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's aaaalllotttt dialoug in this chapter, hope it's okay;)

Ben walked through the old door with messy hair, Hospital clothes and a bag. as soon as he opened the door his eyes landed on the girl that stood in the kitchen. She had a nutella jar in one of her hands and a spoon in her other hand. He smiled at the sight and then he walked to her. She looked up and faced him, a wide smile was on her face.   
“Hey” She said and got back to her business with the nutella jar.   
“ What are you doing?” He asked her as he placed his bag on the counter.   
“ Cravings, Sugar helps”' She said and smiled as she put a big spoon of nutella in her mouth.  
“ You know that will get you diabetes” He said and smiled. She looked up at him, with a serious look.  
“ Stop being a doctor, you’re ruining the fun” She said and went over to the couch. 

“ How was your shift?” She asked him as he sat next to her, with a spoon himself.

“ Hard, I just want to sleep,” He said and smiled as he took some nutella from the jar. 

“ Did Snoke give you a hard time?” She asked him. He didn’t answer and she knew what that meant. They sat in silence for awhile, Rey had missed his company for the last four days. It had been about three weeks since she almost overdosed, and they hadn’t talked about any of it since the balcony. They simply enjoyed each other's company. They slept in the same bed together every night, But that was as intimate as they had been. Ben was really careful around her. He knows that just a small incident Can make a drug addiction get worse, and creep up on you. 

“Rey, I have been thinking” Ben said and looked at her. Her face went from happy to concerned.   
“What is it?” She asked him. Her mind jumped to quick resolutions, he was kicking her out wasn’t he? She felt the anxiety creep up on her, This was just the reason she used drugs. That feeling could destroy her quicker than drugs would. 

“ I think you should go and talk to someone, a professional” He said and looked at her. She didn’t answer, she just took another spoon of the nutella. He looked at her, she didn’t give him any attention. He put his big hand on her shoulder and she turned around and faced him. He could see on her face that her eyes were starting to tear up. 

“You are afraid to leave the apartment, you need help” He said and took a deep breath. 

“ I don't have that kind of money,” She said, and looked at him.

“ I can’t even buy my own clothes or food,” She said.

“ I will pay for it, don’t you worry. And about that -” He said and paused. She looked at him, Her face getting filled with even more anxiety.

“ Wanna leave the apartment with me today? We can go shopping for some clothes you know, ``he said. She smiled at him for a long time and her eyes released a tear. He looked at her confused with concern. Right in that moment she threw herself at him, giving him a big hug. 

“I’m so glad I met you,” She said. He felt how her tears were falling onto his shoulder. She relased herself from the hug, they were sitting on the couch, they just stared into each other's eyes. Ben put his hand on her jawline, his thumb on her check. She tilted her head in his hand, closing her eyes. She smiled bright at his warm touch. She opened her eyes again, looking at his face. She studied it, every part of it. She placed her hands on his face as well and she stared into his deep eyes, the eyes she first met on the club. They were closer to each other, and as they were leaning in, their lips collided. It was a hard kiss, and rey could feel her lips getting bruised, but she wanted more. They continued kissing, Ben’s hand went from her face to her hips. She felt his warm hands on her skin and her heart skipped a beat. She pushed Ben back a bit on the couch as his back was on the couch. His hands showed her hips the way to his lap. As her tongue was fooling around in his mouth, she felt a sudden feeling hitting her chest and then it attacked her. The memories, all the guys that had touched her before, all the times she had been touched even though she didn’t want to. And then She pulled away, Breathing heavily. 

“I’m so sorry,” He said, looking at her. 

“It’s okay, I just need to breath for a moment” She said and got off his lap, and almost ran into the bathroom. She closed and locked the door behind her and she started sobbing. Those memories were the reason she wanted drugs, they made that feeling go away. Ben could hear her sobbing through the door. He went to it and put his hand on the door. 

“Please come out and talk to me” He said with a calm and sad voice. After awhile the sobbing stopped and the door opened. There she stood, her eyes swollen from all the crying. He opened his arms and hugged her. She hugged him tight back, and she felt calm again. Then she let out a small laugh.

“All I do around you is crying” She said as they pulled away. They both smiled and he put his thumb on her face, wiping away one of the tears on the check. 

“Well, what do you say about doing something fun then?” He said and smiled. She smiled back.

\--- 

Rey found some hoodies, four t-shirts, two knitted sweaters and three pairs of pants. They had been out all afternoon and the soon started to set. They walked down the streets that slowly started to get more empty. 

“ So, this wasn’t so bad was it?” He said and smiled. It was pretty cold outside so they both had coats and alot of clothes on. 

“No, thank you for this. One day I will pay you all back” She said and smiled. She grabbed his hand and it took him by surprise. His stomach did a flip and then he smiled wide to her. 

“ Don’t worry about it. I’m Just glad to help,”he said and smiled at her.   
“ I feel like a kid that just got a bunch of presents,” She said and smiled as she looked down on the bags in her hand. Ben laughed at her and then they kept walking home. 

They had been grocering shopping and they both were starving from all the shopping so the first thing Ben did when they got home was to cook. He started chopping vegetables and Rey sat on the couch, with a computer in her lap. Ben had jeans and a blue shirt on and rey had a messy bun and sweats on her. The zipper of the sweater was down a bit so you could see a bit of her bare chest. 

“There’s a job as a waitress, it doesn't pay much but it’s always something” She said and continued to look in the computer. Ben turned to face her, and a wide smile came to his face. She looked confused at the computer. 

“What’s a resume?” She asked and looked up at him. His heart ached, the fact that she didn’t know things like that made him sad. 

“ First thing first, Do you have an GPA?” He asked and looked at her.   
“What’s that?” She asked him. He looked at her, then realized he had food on the stove and turned his face when he smelled it burning. After he stirred he looked over at her again, she hadn’t let her eyes go off him. 

“You don’t know what a gpa is?” He asked her. 

“No? I’m from England remember?” She said. He looked at her even more confused. 

“You’re from what?” He asked her and looked at her, his mouth almost dropping to the floor. 

“Isn’t that pretty obius? I mean I got a pretty strong accent,” she said. He looked at her again. 

“But how come you are here?” He asked her and looked at her with puppy dog eyes. 

“Heard it was easier to get drugs here, So I applied for a membership of the U.S and I got one so I took my shit and left that ass of an country behind me” She said, And in that moment she became uncomfortable and looked down on the computer again. He kept fixing the food, whatever he was making and then he turned over to her again. 

“I really think you should talk to someone” He said and looked at her. He put the dinner on the table and Rey closed the computer and went over to the table. They sat down, and looked at each other. Rey smiled at him. 

“I can try one time okay, But I would really like to move on from the past” She said and smiled at him.

“I understand, but sometimes you need help and advice doing that” He said. She started to dig into the dish on the table. 

“What is this?” She asked him and looked confused.   
“It’s fajitas, my speciality” He said and smiled at her. She put some on her plate and Tasted. She did a long sound of god knows what, but it was a good sign. 

“I also think we should talk about what happened this noon” He said. She put her fork down and looked over at him. They stared at each other quite intensely for awhile, until rey decided to open her mouth. 

“I’m sorry for storming off,” She said. 

“I get if you don’t want anything more than friends, or just see me as family” Ben said and smiled. Even though that sentence hurt him. He didn’t really mean what he just said. He wanted more, He wanted everything with her, just her. She didn’t have anyone else. He never talked to his mother and he couldn’t even stand the thought about his father. She was everything to him. 

“You see me as family?” She said, He looked at her and then realized what he had said. 

“Um yes I guess, I mean I would love --” Then he cut himself off. He adjusted his position again. 

“The truth is, I have felt a connection since I met you the first time. Like I had to save you. I’m not the guy that usually takes home girls like that trust me. But with you it’s different. I feel drawn to you” He said and looked at her. She didn’t say anything, she got up from the table and left. She literally walked out of the door and closed it behind her.

And there Ben was, all alone with two plates on the table.


End file.
